Change Requires Participation

Being a part of the process can mean all the difference in your wellness goals.

How I teach is a process. A process of figuring out how to get to the solution, whatever that may be at the time. Relief from back pain, to stand up straighter, help with their diet, or any lifestyle questions that arise. Rather than just telling, I choose to explain, and that takes time and participation of both me and my client.

This work can be challenging. It takes patience. It takes time to learn new things and then adapt those new things to real life. But, I’m all for it. I actually love doing it. Taking the time so solve problems with clients, helping them critically think and assess their situation. Especially when it comes to the body.

I require a lot of clients when they comes see me for a session, but I am also willing to back up my ask with lots of love and patience in return, I understand how tricky it can be.

My background in movement has given me a deep respect for slow and steady, taking the time to build skills rather than perform movements. I am unable to have clients perform movements that their body isn’t ready to do. Whether it be because they haven’t learned the skill or they simply don’t have the space (flexibility) or strength to execute. With that said, I do find ways to build the client up to that potential movement over time. When they are ready. When their body is ready.

Here is a little video of my process and what it looks like when I explore movement in my body and then apply it to my sessions with clients. You’ll notice I’m very hands on with both my body and my clients’ bodies. There are a few points I slow the video down to real time… it looks like slow motion, but it’s not. It’s me moving slowly, slow enough to process and feel while I move and explore. Sometimes I just move or move fast, but often it’s a slow and inquisitive process.

Being in any process requires regular critique, evaluation, thoughtful suggestions for improvement, testing those suggestions, and then moving from that new perspective. Overtime this process creates lasting change. I

t's through this process of refinement that solutions often emerge. Skipping these steps, rushing through the process, often results in solutions that don't stick. They never had a chance. The focus was on the end result, not on nurturing the process that led to it. Your body and mind didn't have a chance to sync up, unable to absorb the shifts, changes, and new inputs. It was like information passing through without leaving a mark. That's why many feel like they've "failed" in their pursuit of wellness.

The real "failure" isn't in the attempt, but in missing out on being part of the process.

True participation in your healing goes beyond just showing up (although that's crucial too) and leaving your wellness solely in the hands of experts. It means collaboration, a partnership. You and the expert are a team, each playing a vital role in the outcome. No one's position is superior to the other. It's a balanced synergy that makes the real difference.

Like anything that is a process, there can be points of frustration and fatigue. That’s a given. Accept that as part of the process rather than rejecting it. Rejecting this notion only makes the tension more complex, more difficult to unravel. So, when you sign up for something new know that you are also singing up to challenge yourself. Challenge equals some sort of varying degree of difficulty. That’s a universal truth.

I love examples and visuals. Take the learning curve, for example — It’s called a curve for a reason — it goes up, it goes down. The curve always has an up. There’s always a degree of discomfort and difficulty.

A deeper look at tension

Learning new skills is like stretching your boundaries – it creates tension. That's why a lot of the time, we shy away from trying something new. The thought of something new, usually stemming from fear, creates tension rather than ease or excitement in your body.

The very idea of tension is often seen as a negative. Like something we don’t want. But, here's the thing: it's not about it being good or bad. Rather, it’s how we react or respond to it. Reactions hold less power than responses. Responding to the tension leads to more opportunity. And while there are times in life that we simply need to react without thinking, more often, a pause and thoughtful response will get you much further. It gives you the opportunity to utilize the tension in a more meaningful way, to take a positive advantage of it, versus deal with it.

How can you use it to your advantage? Instead of backing away or freezing in place, acknowledge it, harness it, and move – be it forward or even backward if that's what's right. Even if a pause is what you need, choose it mindfully, not as a reaction to avoid next steps.

That path that seems to lead ahead isn't always the right one… just in case you haven’t had the pleasure of figuring that out on your own 😆 . If you’re experiencing a lot of tension in the direction you felt was forward, it may be time to reconsider your options. It's OK to hit the brakes or make a U-turn in life. And releasing tension? It doesn't always look like what you'd expect. Sometimes, it's about letting go of the very thing you were gunning for, be it big or small. Those little pockets of tension can mess with you just as much as the big ones. So, keep tabs on the tension that's hanging out in both your body and your life. Stay aware. You be the guide of the tension, don’t let the tension boss you around.

The word "tension" isn't meant to be stamped with a positive or negative label. We tend to attach emotions and judgments to words, and while that can be spot-on sometimes, there are moments when it's just not the right approach. This happens to be one of those moments.

Tension often gets tagged as a bad thing, but it's time to ditch those labels. Let's kick the whole "good" and "bad" dichotomy to the curb. What truly matters is how you take that tension and work with it. How you harness and apply it – that's the real deal.

Tension has its moments – sometimes it's needed, and sometimes it's overbearing. The trick lies in your intention and how you wield the tension you're facing. It's about steering clear of those good-vs-bad labels.

When tension gets too intense, frustration can creep in. And strangely enough, when things get too easy-breezy or have no boundaries, frustration can still rear its head. It's not about choosing between two extremes; it's about embracing both sides of the equation. Think of it as a blend, a dance between the two. What you're truly aiming for is balance – finding that sweet spot. It's that perfect harmony between strength and ease, finding just the right amount of tension in any given situation.

A final thought on tension for now: it craves an underlying sense of softness and ease. Keep in mind, tension needs breathing space for ease to coexist. Its ability to lend support is just as vital as its capacity to embrace ease – just like the breath. When tension loses all traces of ease, that's when tears, cracks, bursts, or breaks can happen. Tension, believe it or not, is equally about softness. We tend to forget that.

Subtleties matter

Some of the most profound shifts in wellness occur in the tiniest of moments, in the gentlest of spaces. They feel like whispers or taps – so subtle that if you rush or let your focus scatter to the past or future, they slip right through your fingers. Moving within tension brings about a natural sense of slowness, helping you grasp these fleeting, impactful moments with a smoother touch. Speed is great, no doubt, but remember to move with a touch of graceful un-hurriedness too.

That’s why I love pilates and yoga so much, they both work with tension in your body. Pilates equipment is based on tension — adding tension and taking tension off. I love it. Topic of another convo…

For now I will leave you with this. Change isn’t easy, but it’s easier in the long run if you participate. Accept that it might have its difficulties, it may be a little tense at times, but lean into that tension and learn from it, what is it showing you? Lastly, embrace moments where ease, or backing off, is the right next step. When the tension gets too tight, it snaps. Don’t push it. Ask your practitioners questions, be sure you really understand what it is they are saying, no matter how many times it takes. It’s crucial that you learn along the way. Embrace the slowness that tension brings and don’t forget to enjoy the process along the way. There is so much to discover!