Learning to Downshift
My journey on going inward and go-to favorites for fostering my relationship within.
In my early 20s, my grandmother began calling me “sifounaki”, Greek for tornado; I moved quickly and had great strength. My mind naturally works fast, day-to-day decision historically were pretty easy for me to make. The grey area made me uncomfortable, preferring to make a decision and move forward with my life, no time for the in between.
Not much time spent in thoughtful contemplation, my life was a series of choices, in which I would respond rather quickly, and move “on”, deal with any missteps later. And there were plenty.
Luckily, adaptability is also a strength of mine.
This quickness, like many of our strengths, got me into trouble at times. Mindless injuries that could have been prevented, car accidents, steps back in life that could have been avoided, opportunities missed, emotions passed by. Constantly rushing, and most likely late.
My gears moved in one direction, up. There was no downshifting in this vehicle. No time for my inner world, too concerned with the external to sit quietly and begin to unravel my internal world. To digest life at any other pace.
Finally, in my 30s, by choice and chance, I began to downshift. To slow down when necessary, to sit in pause when needed, to hold space for the grey, to be OK with indecision, to not make a choice, to simply be where I am, to seek answers from within myself, to be alone.
Introspection, contemplation, meditation, long periods of silence, and solitude began to blend into my being tempering my quickness, but not throwing it out.
Overtime, more gears became available to me. Downshifting became a regular practice actually giving me even more energy to upshift when needed.
But this ability to grow my gears didn’t happen over night and it didn’t happen without effort. It took time, like all things.
Again, by choice and chance my 30s taught me several lessons in patience, in the in between. They taught me that I could endure both physical discomfort and pain as well as emotional discomfort and pain. That life doesn’t always go to plan and “doing” all the things doesn’t mean you get the “prize” at the end.
The real prize, resiliency.
My quickness moved me through life bravely and boldly, yes, but my stillness gifted me grace. The ability to see and feel the things that couldn’t be seen or felt at the pace I was traveling prior. To move more gracefully through this life, taking moments to pause and regroup.
In the hustle and bustle of our daily routines, it's easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of responsibilities and expectations. However, by intentionally carving out time for ourselves, we can regain clarity and perspective.
My first experience with meditation came as an athlete. During our competitive season the coaches would bring in a sports therapist. He’d lead us through a guided imagery meditation, I would always fall asleep very early on. But, I’ll never forget the start of his meditation, in fact I carry it with me still today. This was to help us find peace and focus along with the ability to visualize. Part of our practice was also sitting quietly, visualizing ourselves doing our routines before we competed, the meditation teacher helped us build this skill.
Surrendering to the physical discomfort and pain was also something I learned early on in life. That when things really got uncomfortable, breath and calmness of mind would deliver me peace. Don’t fight it, I’d think. When coaches would be stretching me in unimaginable positions or when holding a handstand for 10 minutes, I was forced to find solace, and it wasn’t in giving into the pain, but rather accepting it. If I allowed the pain to win, even just a little bit, the cascading effect that followed was unbearable. Instead, I’d surrender—or play games with my friend Cezanna— to distract my mind and stay calm, deter my focus from the discomfort.
These two skills followed me in life, helping me deal with anxiety or any type of physical discomfort as a teen and in college.
When I first started my medication this same ability, to be still and surrender to my pain, saved me yet again. I’d lay in bed and think… just be still Vas, go limp, let go, the ibuprofen will kick in soon, be still, don’t fight it.
And then when I had an episode that impaired my walking, my practice of visualization came into play. Standing in my parents hallway, thinking to myself just walk as I also visualized myself doing it. And sure enough, my walking began to improve. I pictured myself walking, one foot in front of the other, and that I did.
But it wasn’t until my 30s that I learned to go even deeper within myself, to look for answers, to find peace, to surrender into my own deep knowing. To go beyond using this ability to find calm in the external world, but also to find answers in my inner world.
To come back to the practices that had been seeded in me as a young girl.
You see, up to this point in my life, I still required a lot of external validation and confirmation. Seeking answers from friends, family, etc. I hadn’t learned that my own inner knowing was enough. That in fact nobody could help me make the choices I needed to make, they weren’t living my life, I was, and they were my choices to make.
Then, when my 30s brought me even more difficult choices and situations, through various tools and practices of introspection and contemplation, I was able to build my inner knowing muscle even more. To be my own guide. To seek my own advice. And while at times I wished that others could have solved my problems, I knew that developing this ability and following my own knowing was the only way out.
My ticket to a more joyful being. To peace. To contentment. Develop my inner knowing and trust it.
How I developed my inner being:
This could be a whole separate things, so I’ll do my best to keep it short. Keep in mind, these are things that I have done over the last ten years. Things I continue to use and play with still. Many of these things are deep intricate systems (ie: chakras, Chinese medicine, acupuncture, aryuveda, yoga) that take many years for even the great ones to master. The point for me wasn’t to “master”, but to use intentionally as tools for personal growth, creativity, and in relating to my inner being and the world around me.
Analogy, metaphor, imagery, archetypal language help me relate to myself and the world around me in a more interesting way. A less personal way. It also feeds my creativity, helps me look at things differently, opens doors that would have otherwise remained unopened. When I can relate to something else or apply a metaphor to a moment in time or perhaps an emotion that I’m feeling, it shift things. I can begin to see things in a new light. The heaviness subsides.
Ironically, going inward also means going macro in terms of how you view yourself in the world. Learning that things are actually a lot less personal than we think was a huge lesson for me, but it takes being able to see how we are all one, interconnected, to fully realize this. Moreover, if it’s happened/happening to me, more than likely it’s also happened/happening to someone else.
Pulling myself out and looking at the whole has been invaluable in developing my inner knowing, sense of self, and overall resiliency. Most importantly, it gave response when my victim reared it’s little head.
Tools and Services:
Meditation - When I dove back into my meditation practice as an adult, I realized my practice had actually started much earlier than I had thought. I wasn’t new to meditating after all (earlier examples noted above). Through my time spent in reflection, diving into this practice, I was able to remember what had been taught to me so long ago and that in fact, I had been meditating most of my life.
Apps are great, there are many! Even just setting a timer on your phone, starting small with 3 minutes, then moving up over time. Play some soothing music if you’d like, but really, don’t get stuck on the ambiance. You aren’t going to be in a “zen” environment when you really need to rely on this practice anyway, so don’t get caught up on that. If you have trouble being still, try a walking meditation. Walking gardens and labyrinths are great for this. Leave your phone behind and walk quietly on your own. Maybe try sitting for a few minutes post walk before heading inside or home.
Decks of all sorts - Tarot, archetypes, animal, goddess, crystal, plants and herbs - there are so many! Remember, these are tools to reflect, to get your wheels turning. Learn how to relate to and apply imagery, archetypes, astrology, and more to your life. To support your curiosity of self. They aren’t telling your future, simply giving you some creative ways to approach questions on life and self. Different lenses to initiate movement in your mind. Some are also simply like flashcards on the topic.
Astrology - Love diving into my chart, I find it so fascinating. Also love learning the energy of the planets and all that fun stuff. Even if you don’t believe and feel this is “woo woo”, I highly recommend getting your birth chart read at least once before you totally write it off.
Acupuncture - So many benefits, but also great to calm nervous system and have some time to really rest and reset. I’ve been going to acupuncture for a decade now, it’s deeply effective in a subtle way.
Subtle energy, body work - visceral massage, gentle massage, calming breath work, sound baths, hypnotherapy, EFT or emotional freedom tapping, reiki, and other types of energy work. Anything essentially that helped me learn to be in stillness, in my body, with my breath. Quiet in my mind, connected with my body and spirit.
Again, I suggest trying these things before totally writing them off if you’re a skeptic — but remember, it’s your responsibility to do a little research beforehand, be present during, and pay attention to the subtle messages that arise after. Subtle work can definitely not be just check off the list. Presence is key. Expectations are blocks. Do your best to have an open mindset.
I also recommend getting personal recommendations from people you know that have tried these things. Your energy and subtle body are precious, don’t just let anybody have the honor of being with them. You must feel safe and trust the person you’re working with.
The chakra system - Again, huge topic, but worth diving into or learning about, even if on a very basic level. I loved this book when I was first learning and still refer to it to this day, “Eastern Body, Western Mind”.
Aryuveda practices - Another intricate system, but again, you can take small bites at a time and use this beautiful ancient practice as it works for you.
Chinese medicine - Principles of yin and yang (masculine and feminine) that reside in all of us, elements of the earth and how those elements are seen in the body. Your acupuncturist can also be a great resource for more info on this stuff.
Nature - Such a powerful tool that we have at our disposal. You can look to nature for so much. I’ve been following
for years, her approach to herbalism and the earth is beautiful, not to mention she knows her stuff when it comes to the topic!Yoga - And not just the physical part, but the whole system, which is another big one!
Mythical books and stories - any type of mythology, but I specifically like Greek. One of my recent favorites was “Circe”, by Madeline Miller and “The Island of Missing Trees”, by
. I’m fascinated by not only the creativity of the writers, but by the way the world was viewed back then. That bit of magic that comes along with mythology and mysticism reminds me to have a playful, and again, more creative and magical approach to life. The Greek Gods were, after all, toying with us humans at all times. Why not join in on the game of life that they perceived?! We can’t always be too serious. And Imagination is paramount in this world.Contemplation and Introspection: And last, but certainly not least, time alone. Being alone, with my own thoughts, ideas, dreams, hopes, desires, problems… no disturbances, time to simply be with myself, has been a well of gifts that has yet to run dry. I suspect it never will, either. Time alone, free to move about my day in a way that works for me, do what I want to do— or not do, has been the greatest gift of all when it comes to getting to know ME. After all, spending 1:1 time with someone is how you really get to know them, why not extend that courtesy to ourselves? And so I have, and will continue. And as it turns out, she’s pretty great … I like spending time with her, she knows more than I thought. 😉
