Finding Your Rhythm In Wellness
Wellness is overwhelming these days with too much info and too little time to digest it in our fast paced, "fix-it", and "to-do" list culture.
How long will it take?
How long did it take you?
Where do I begin?
Who do I turn to?
How do I decide what path to take when it comes to my own wellness?
How is it all possible, there is so much to do?
How do you do it?
All very common questions and concerns I hear when people come to me for help with their health and wellness. They know that something needs to change, but where should they start? The sheer overload of this task causes many to get stuck, to defer, to set aside their wellness, as the mess/task seems too big and too overwhelming to clean up.
Add in people’s schedules, routines, commitments, and so forth, and the task seems even more daunting. It can feel like there is simply too much to do and no real possibility of actually succeeding in doing so — why even start?
I don’t blame people for feeling this way. With all the wellness influencers (and info) out there, it can be deceiving, daunting, and discouraging. It may seem like “they’re” all “doing it”, and maybe they are, but too often the realness behind it — the actual work that goes into wellness — is overlooked and understated.
Rather, to promote and sell, to capture people’s desires and attention, wellness is reduced to a series of activities or purchases one must do or make to achieve “optimal wellness”. Attention grabbing tactics are employed and before you know it you’re hitting the purchase button. Our tendency to consume rather wellness than pursue it easily exploited by tapping into the aspirations of many — influencers and marketing teams understand this well.
Let’s not blame the wellness influencers, though. It’s not their fault. Plus, I’m not into pointing blame, it helps nothing. And influencers aren’t all bad, anyhow. There are some really great people out there motivating and inspiring people to take care of themselves, and that’s a good thing! I appreciate their voices.
Being super honest, telling people to take it slow, that it will take tenacity and determination, hard work, and sacrifice — that it may take one week, several months, or even years before they feel well again, before they “figure it out” and find their rhythm — isn’t as desirable. It’s a harder sell.
Slow and steady isn’t as appealing as fast and easy. Instant gratification has influenced me, for sure, as I’m sure it’s influenced you. It’s tough to stay steadfast in an environment that encourages the opposite. When feeling tempted I remind myself there is no quick-fix in wellness.
People don’t want to hear that it takes time, that it’s hard, that the road isn’t straight. And I get it. The truth is hard to swallow, I can totally relate. I think we all can, in fact. But remember, just because something is hard, it doesn’t mean it’s not worth doing. It’s been my experience in doing hard things, things that have required sacrifice and discipline, that I have been delivered some of my most cherished moments as a result! Don’t let a little hard work deter you from your path.
And to take this a step further even, we cannot forget accountability — there has to be some accountability on the non-influencer side. It takes two to tango, as “they” say.
Influencers excel at giving the people “what they want” and it seems that the demand for products, quick fixes, daily routines, and being told what to do versus how to do it, are in very high demand. I know it sounds enticing — take this pill and your bloat will away, or try this product to increase your flexibility in just 30 days — however, it’s not that simple, and you should be glad about that.
Your wellbeing isn’t about a collection of things and services. It’s so much more than that. It’s learning about yourself at the most intimate level. And to achieve this very intimate relationship, there must be participation on your end.
Here’s why — your path to being well is not a sprint or a race, in fact, it’s not even a marathon. It’s a lifelong pursuit. Remember, the goal isn’t to stay on trend and “in the know” of the latest wellness fad, it’s to enhance and transform your life. To feel good.
Transformation is no simple task. Don’t try and rush your way through it. Avoid falling trap to instant satisfaction. Rather, settle into the fact that you can and should take your time. Enjoy the process and the ease that time provides because you’ll most likely come up against challenges that will require more effort and urgency.
Be aware of your energy. Give yourself the grace of time and patience as you discover your own rhythm. It feels good knowing that this one thing in life should and can be taken slowly in a world where everything moves so quickly. Take an exhale as you allow that idea to imprint on your being.
Taking a slow and steady path allowed me to gently unfold and discover what wellness actually means to me. It allowed me to not only consume it and check it off a list, but to experience it. And in that experience, ultimately, it allowed the space for me to find my own unique rhythm.
Within that rhythm there have been instances where I pause, speed up, and slow down, where I add in tools/services and take them out — rhythm is about weaving things together in a way that feels fluid and cohesive, that serves the intention of the work. An acknowledgment of the space in between and an integration and connection of the parts. But before you can do this well, you must begin to really learn the parts.
Sticking with my path, staying steady, gave me time to utilize the tools, skill, and knowledge that I was acquiring enabling me to build more confidence in myself and my abilities to call upon these things. To actually feel and notice the implementation of “all the things” that I was learning, trying, and participating in so that I could identify what was enhancing my wellbeing, what was neutral, and what wasn’t.
Taking it slow and really diving into to each discovery that I was making, delivered me the best gift of all, a gift I didn’t even realize I needed/wanted. The gift of discernment. The ability to intuit, reflect, observe, and decide what is working for me and what isn’t.
This wasn’t the only surprise gift on my path.
The ability to discern birthed my ability to implement balance into my wellness. A far cry from where I started — story for another time — but suffice to say I have been very extreme in the past. Wisdom comes from missteps, challenges, and “failures”, after all, and I have had plenty of those.
Balance is the thread that makes the endeavor to live well possible. It’s the wiggle room that I need to stay on track, to remind myself it’s about the whole, not each individual act. It is my space to breath, to modify my pace, to make tweaks and adjustments as I continue to grow, change, adapt, and transform.
Most importantly, while taking it slow, I built a network of support and filled my toolbox with things and people that help me maintain my overall wellbeing — mind, body, spirit.
Overtime, I have learned to call upon who I needed when I am unable to support or remedy the issue myself. I have built a relationship of trust with these people by putting in the time. I know them and they know me. I trust their advice/services which is so important. You can’t expect someone to truly help you if they don’t really have the opportunity to get to know you. And I think you all can attest that there is no short cut for this. Relationships require time and participation.
While I can’t teach you how to find your rhythm in an instant, I can point you in the right direction of focus.
Here are some tips to help you stay on task, to help you skip through some of the wasted time in sorting through all the wellness noise.
Let go of getting wellness done
It’s not a checklist of chores. It a practice. It’s your life. No need to rush through or try to finish or be complete — savor it, enjoy it, take an active role in it, and be a part of it. Know that it’s ongoing, a process, and be ok with the fact that it doesn’t “end”. As long as you are in a body, I encourage you to take care of it.
It’s not about the ending, about getting it done, or even about fixing yourself — it’s about what happens along the way and what you discover about yourself on that journey.
Focusing on the “end” or “being done'“ is a waste of your energy and resources. Let it go, enjoy the ride, and save those precious resources for something else.
Use your time wisely
Rather than thinking of when you’re going to be done, be “healed”, or be “fixed”, know that we are ever changing beings that require different things at different times. Healing is ongoing. Rather, develop a sense of where you are putting your energy, spending most of your time. Is it supporting you?
Learn to discern what works and what doesn’t - things and people that you feel supported by and things and people you don’t feel supported by. If you’re spending too much time with things that aren’t supportive, it’s OK, but once you’ve realized they are a time-suck, move on.
Move into the places and spaces that bring you joy, comfort, ease, safety, grace, empowerment, and love. Things and people that make you feel better than you did before. If you focus on that you won’t miss the signals and signs of when something isn’t working for you — and trust me, not everything/everyone is going to be for you, please do pay attention. If you pay attention, trust your gut and intuition, you won’t waste your time, money, or stamina on things, people, or services you don’t need avoiding “wellness burnout” and disappointment.
Wellness is for the long haul, avoid burnout (and going broke) by understanding what you need and what you don’t.
Address your victim
If you’re still pointing a finger outward? Whether it be to the western medical system, the eastern system, or anything in between, then you haven’t quite gotten the message — it’s possible you’re missing the point.
The external blame game is a way to deflect you from your own involvement and ownership in your wellness. Nobody can make you do anything, there is always a choice that can be made, or a compromise at the very least.
You are the boss of your body, period. If you don’t like something, change it. If something doesn’t work for you, stop doing it. And it’s not always that simple, of course, if you need support please do ask for it. Help is always just an ask away.
And in saying this I don’t mean to sound harsh, but it is the truth. Your attitude and perceived power of self, your agency over your body and choices, is so important. If you’re going around saying “nothing works” feeling frustrated, then more than likely, nothing will work. Or, at least you’ll believe that to be true.
But things do work. You can feel better, but it’s up to you to make that happen. You need to believe that in your bones. And I know it’s hard to take responsibility, but in the case of auto-immune, it can be a matter of defying your disease or succumbing to it.
Again, the choice is yours, but I highly recommend you make the hard choice and take ownership in your lifestyle. It will create so much more ease in the end.
Slow and steady wins the race
Take your time and make changes that you can sustain and build upon. There is no use in adding wellness habits onto your plate if you can’t handle your current plate. Just like with food, sometimes are wellness eyes are bigger than our wellness bellies — it’s easy to bite off more than you can chew. I know I have.
Pick one area, let’s say movement, and start with one change that is realistic. If you are not currently doing any type of exercise or movement, please don’t go zero to 60 and add 5 days to the goal sheet that include cardio and a mix of classes.
I’d suggest starting with a 20 minute walk, three times a week. Once you successfully integrate that habit, where it feels like something you just do, add in another. How long that takes is different for everyone, all it takes to find out is to start.
Wellness isn’t going anywhere. Take your time to enjoy, assimilate, and actually learn the techniques that are (or aren’t) supporting your wellbeing.
Build a network
I can’t emphasize enough the importance of having a supportive network. A network is a group of people that help you navigate your illness (or overall health and wellness if you aren’t sick) so that you don’t have to do it alone.
What does that look like? It can vary from person to person, but in general, this would be a great foundation to build upon over time — I don’t expect you to have this team over night!
Trusted friend or family member
A licensed professional for mental health needs
Naturopathic Doctor or General Practitioner with an integrative or functional and holistic approach
1-1 Wellness Coach and/or Functional Nutritionist - Someone you consult for nutrition advice specific to your needs.
1-1 Strength and flexibility teacher/coach. That can be a yoga teacher, a trainer, a physical therapist, a Pilates teacher, etc. Just someone that you can go to for personal, 1-1 care and sessions. Frequency varies, don’t think because you can’t go all the time you shouldn’t go at all or even bother with finding a private coach or teacher.
Group classes are great as well, but you want to compliment them with 1-1 sessions where you can fine tune your movement and focus on your specific needs. This will greatly complement your other activities too! You don’t have to go weekly, maybe it’s something you treat yourself to once a month or a few times a year. Any time 1-1 is impactful.
Spiritual support. Whatever that looks like to you, but your spirit and soul, your nervous system and subtle body, also need tending to. Meditation is a great way to start tapping into your inner world alongside breath-work if you aren’t sure where to start.
I know that being well can seem like a daunting task that breeds feelings of failure, overwhelm, and defeat. I’ve been there and still go there at times. It’s OK. It’s OK to “fail”, to live and learn, to be confused, to question, to feel like quitting, even. But rather than succumb to feelings and emotions that are simply there to guide you along your way, use them. Utilize those feelings and emotions to pivot, to change course, to reflect and review, and most importantly, to try again. Tomorrow is always another day.
Eventually, you will find your unique rhythm — just keep going. 🤍
I offer 1-1 coaching sessions if you need support on your path. To schedule a free 15 minute email vas@eso-livewell.com.
Such great suggestions here!