Five years later, I feel grateful. Grateful that my hard work paid off. Grateful to have found what I was looking for. Something that keeps me inspired, humble, interested, passionate, connected to other humans, creating a positive difference, and selling something that I 100% believe in.
I share this post for those that feel lost, for those that are at a crossroads, for those that hate their job, for those searching for their purpose, for parents worried about their teen or their 25 year old that hasn’t quite landed in a career, let alone a career they love. Don’t despair and don’t give up. For many of us, the path isn’t clear, but nonetheless, there is a path.
I had to make a lot of mistakes, try things that I ended up basically hating, things that I simply wasn’t great at, to discover what I do love, what I am good at, and what I can offer to my community. I tried my hand at fashion, music, jewelry, restaurants, financial planning, and marketing. The closest fit was working in the restaurants with my dad. I loved working with my dad. I learned a lot. Things that they can’t teach you in business school. The practicality and the real life stuff that you can only learn with experience. Despite my appreciation for my dad and my enjoyment in the restaurants, it still didn’t feel exactly right. I wasn’t totally fulfilled.
This quest to discover my calling lasted throughout my 20s. I was a Fashion Merchandising major and had done an internship my last year of college in the LA Mart. Three of my best friends where working there and so naturally, I thought I’d give it a try too. I hated it. Sales was not for me. A strict 9-5 format felt awful in my soul. It didn’t feel natural. The lack of autonomy and freedom in this type of setting dampened my desire to perform well. It did the opposite of inspire me. It was hard for me to give it my all when I wasn’t actually feeling it. Thank God my boss at the time was wiser than me and noticed this in me before I was brave enough to bring it up. Around this same time, I was 23ish, I applied to Parsons School of Design. I wanted to be a stylist or a fashion editor in a magazine—something “cool”. I went to NYC to go visit the school with my mom, I loved it! I felt alive and motivated, this was it, I thought. This is my path. I was so excited to fill out my application and begin this new chapter in my life! … I didn’t get in. At the time, I was very disappointed. Up until that point I hadn’t faced any real rejection. Sure, I played sports, but losing is part of being an athlete. You get used to it. This was different. I felt deflated and embarrassed. My ego took a major hit and that never feels good. I was back to square one. No clear path. No direction. I couldn’t see it at the time, but fashion was not the path for me. All I could see was failure.
I spent the next year working with my dad and giving his offer to run the restaurants with him a shot. I did this for about a year before I was hit with my first MS attack. Again, this attack, while I didn’t know at the time, would catapult me into my passion, my future career, and into truly discovering who I am. I spent the next few years trying to manage my new life. Doctors appointments, blood work, MRIs, painful medication, and so forth. Looking back, I was trying to heal and find myself all at the same time. It wasn’t easy or comfortable, to say the least. There were so many times I felt less than. Like I hadn’t accomplished anything. Like I was so far behind. Other young adults were beginning to excel in their careers, climbing the corporate ladder, doing what they went to school for, earning financial independence. Here I was stuck at home, sick half the week, working with my dad, and feeling very lost and alone.
One morning, my brother came into town and took me to breakfast. He’s always been my voice of reason and practicality. I frequently called (call) him for advice. But on this particular day, his pep talk wasn’t very peppy. It was in fact painful. He asked me what I was doing with my life and basically called me a loser— or that’s how it felt at least. He felt that I wasn’t working to my full potential. That I was taking the easy way out. I got so mad at him. I couldn’t believe he could say that to me! Did he not see what I had been going through the past few years?! That despite my wants and desires, that even if I had found my career path as he did, that I would have most likely had to have quit?! Did he forget I was sick??? What the fuck? Where is your empathy? It definitely wasn’t what I wanted to hear… He wasn’t letting me off the hook. He wasn’t feeling sorry for me or coddling me like my mom, dad, and sister. He told me what I didn’t want to hear and what nobody else could/would say to me. My anger towards him sparked my competitive spirit. I decided that in order to get caught up, to make myself worthy and competitive in the workplace, I would get my MBA. That would show my brother I am not a loser. So, that’s what I did.
In 2008 I began the application process and graduated in 2010. I thought that earning my masters degree would boost not only my confidence, but my hireability, should I decide to go the corporate route again. Or if corporate didn’t pan out, it would help me make improvements and potentially expand my dad’s restaurant business. I felt it was a win-win and it gave me a new sense of purpose. It gave me direction and it helped my ego a bit. My story felt better now. I went to college, tried fashion, began working with my dad, got diagnosed with MS, and now I’m back in school, getting my masters degree, while working with my dad in restaurants. Upon graduation I would have options, or so I thought.
In 2010 when I graduated companies were not hiring, especially in the marketing department. Agency were downsizing, if not closing all together. The job pool was small and competitive. I spent the next year applying for jobs only to get denied and ignored. I went on a few interviews, turned in what felt like 100s of applications. It was brutal. There went my enthusiasm, that boost to my ego after earning my MBA was completely gone. I spent the next year and a half in this cycle… working with my dad, applying for jobs, and accepting side hustles that could potentially turn into something. Those hustles taught me a lot, but they weren’t the answer. A part of my path yes, but not my true destiny or calling. I decided that my outward search needed to stop and I once again committed full time to my dad. Maybe I was missing my calling and it had been right in front of me this whole time?! Maybe restaurants are my calling?!?
Meanwhile, throughout all of this self discovery, I was also healing my MS. I had adopted a totally new lifestyle, completely opposite of the carefree party girl I was before. My nights at the club were replaced with nights in my bathtub, suffering and in pain, rather than dancing the night away. While everyone was drinking and smoking and having fun on the weekends, I was exercising discipline and managing my new reality. Daytime drinking was replaced with yoga, exercise, and meditation. Sleep and stress reduction were my priority now, the latest bar or club was set aside. What I didn’t know at the time, and again, what is now so clear to me in hindsight, was that I was gaining the tools, experience, and the knowledge for a plan that I could not yet see.
In 2013, I obtained my first yoga certification in yoga sculpt. Later that same year, I furthered my training by earning my 200-hour certification as well. I did this all at CorePower Yoga. I was hired soon after and began teaching classes all over orange county part-time. I was still working with my dad full time so I did this after hours. One class soon turned into 2,3,4 and then 5 classes per week. I felt excited when I was teaching, I loved it! And, I was good at it, it came naturally. I didn’t even mind that I was driving all over the place and from far distances to make it all happen. Before I knew it I was being offered a managerial position. Was this my path? Was this the corporate company that I was looking for?! A company that values health and wellness?! I was excited at the prospect.
Once again, I consulted my brother. He posed great questions. I also consulted with my parents, they were in complete support of my newfound passion and told me the choice was mine. I accepted. It was a part-time position assisting the studio manager. I was way over qualified, but I didn’t care. I always acted with humility. I always had something to learn. My desire to enjoy my work far outweighed any financial ambitions—I was on a quest to find my dream job. My career. Something that would allow me to have work-life balance and maintain my health as my priority. And, I wanted it to be something that I loved…. When you’re on a quest, sometimes you have to take a step back to take two steps forward. This was one of those moments. I was moving in the right direction, despite its lack of perfection, I could feel it. It felt right. Within two months, I was offered a position to be the assistant manager in the Huntington Beach location, their busiest and most successful location in OC. I had to now choose between working with my dad and venturing out on my own. I accepted the position.
I took a major pay cut and increased my daily workload by a lot. I worked 6 days a week and was at the mercy of the studio schedule and the upper management’s decision of when and how I need to show up for the job. But since I am a natural hard worker, I rose to the occasion. I owned my position, duties, and responsibilities, like an owner would. That’s how I was taught. That’s how true entrepreneurs roll. I asked questions, I learned the ins and outs of the studio, the culture, how the place and company operated. I quickly realized this was not the place or path for me, even though I loved the community and fellow instructors. Nobody knew what they were doing, nobody in upper management truly understood business, forget about studio managers. They knew nothing. It was a maddeding place to work, especially coming from my dad’s business. My dad has excellent business sense and is very organized in the way he operates. What was happening at CPY was a terrible, I had to plan my next move.
Being the natural entrepreneur that I am, it didn’t take long for me to pivot my plan. I’d use my time at CPY to learn everything that I could over the course of the next year. The end goal, opening my own studio. I put in my time, learned about programming and sales, and then applied my findings to planning my future studio. My dad had encouraged me from the start to open my own place, especially when he saw my shitty salary. But I told him I needed to see how a studio ran. I needed to do my homework and put in the time. There are a lot of similarities in studios and in restaurants, but a lot of differences as well. To assume that I could do one because I had done the other is naive. I wasn’t afraid to take a step back, I knew it would take me two steps further once I did. As manager, I had access to the numbers of all the orange county studios. The other managers could care less, they didn’t see what I saw. The value in the numbers. The numbers tell you everything you need to know, it was amazing for me to see. After one year, I quit and I wrote my first business plan for my future yoga studio.
For the next 2 years I continued to teach as an independent teacher. I continued to teach classes at CPY for a little bit, but eventually after finding new classes in smaller, privately owned studios, I left CPY completely. I made attempts to find partners that would want to execute my business plan with me, but was unsuccessful in the end. I set aside my business plan for the studio and continued forth. I would focus on my own brand. Continue to build my private clients and expand my network.
While working at CPY I met a lot of amazing people. One of those people inspired me to become a health coach. To take my years of experience in health and wellness, specifically in nutrition, and make it a part of my personal brand. I enrolled in the Institute of Integrative Nutrition (IIN) and received my certification as a Holistic Health Coach one year later, in 2015. In 2016 my brand was born—ESO Live Well was official. I launched my website and made my announcement on IG. It was all happening. I knew that one day I would have a physical space to house my brand and fulfill my dream. I was on my way as an entrepreneur! It felt so good.
I spent the next two-ish years working at boutique studios, I planned my very first retreat to Nicaragua, and continued to grow my private client base. I was still helping my dad with some work at the restaurant a few days a week, which felt good, it was a hard decision to make the choice to find my own path—I felt like I abandoned him—so this helped. I was in a great place, but something was missing. I had begun to take Pilates classes at one of the studios I was teaching at and realized how much I loved it! It was a beautiful compliment to yoga and a much more sustainable way to build strength versus the hardcore Hiit classes, bootcamps, and crossfit classes I had taken. Those only left me more fucked up than before. Sure, maybe I built strength, but I destroyed my back along the way. Not worth it. After a few months of taking classes, a fellow teacher inspired me to take the training with her. I enrolled in BASI in early 2017 and completed my certification. In truth, I completed the requirements, but never obtained my certification, but that story is for a whole other post. At the end of the year I partnered into one of the boutique studios I was working at and ESO had its first official home.
At this point I thought all my hardwork had come to fruition! I finally had my own space in a super cute studio, less than a mile from my house—was this real?! Did I finally land in the right place?? The short answer is no. This partnership lasted for only six months before I had to very quickly figure out a new space. And so I did.
In June of 2018 I signed my first lease. No partners, just me. It was crazy! Such a rush. Upon signing I had a mini freak out… what had I done?! Can I really do this?? Is 5 years too long?? But I knew in my core I had done the right thing, found the right space. I set aside my doubts and went full speed ahead into opening my new location (while I was still paying rent to my current studio, btw). I pulled out business loans and purchased my equipment. I started recruiting teachers and practitioners and before I knew it, ESO Live Well was born. My dream of a wellness collective had come true.
Five years later, I am still standing. Proudly, I might add. I’ve worked my ass off! I made it through my husbands cancer (he was diagnosed on my 3rd day open), a pandemic, and a variety of other challenges that I’ll explain at a later date. It hasn’t been easy, but nothing in life that’s worth anything is easy. Or at least that’s my experience. I am beyond grateful for my husband and my family, they have supported me and my vision and stuck by my side throughout it all. They believed in me and that’s priceless.
When my husband was diagnosed with cancer on the third day of my venture, it felt like the world had dealt me a devastating blow. But I refused to let despair consume me. Instead, I summoned every ounce of strength and resilience within me to support him through his battle. Together, we faced the darkest moments with unwavering determination, finding solace in the love and bond we shared. In addition, the space that I had created turned out to be the space where I found solace and healing. I needed a safe positive place at that time and ESO was it. The classes, the teachers, the community - they saved me in this very difficult and dark time.
And then came the pandemic, an unexpected global crisis that tested the resilience of individuals and communities worldwide. It threw countless obstacles in my path, forcing me to adapt, pivot, and navigate uncharted territories. The challenges seemed relentless, but I refused to back down. I harnessed the power of my determination and resourcefulness to overcome each hurdle, no matter how daunting.
Throughout this journey, the journey to finding my career, I have been immensely blessed to have a loving and supportive husband, as well as a family that has stood beside me through thick and thin. Their unwavering belief in me and my vision has been my guiding light. Their encouragement and strength have been priceless treasures that have fueled my determination to push forward, even in the face of adversity.
Looking back, I am filled with profound gratitude for my experiences, both positive and negative. I am grateful for all my wins, my “mistakes” and my “failures”, they too are a part of my story and brought me to where I am today. I have come to understand that the most meaningful accomplishments are born out of hard work, unwavering belief, and the unwavering support of loved ones. And in the end, when the dust settles and I can look around, it feels pretty damn good knowing that I did it. I found a career I love.
My path wasn’t straight, as you can see, it had many twists and turns. I had no idea where I was going half the time, I just went. I trusted that each choice I made was a choice closer to my true calling. I wasn’t afraid to fail, to get back up, and to try again. I was determined and that’s all it takes.
Long story short—don’t give up! It doesn’t matter how old you are, what phase of life you’re in, or how much money you have. You too can find a career you love. There is always a way to make a change, even if it’s small. Eventually, those small changes add up to something big! So, make the change. Take the step. Challenge your comfort level. Trust your gut. Explore your options. Follow your unique path—who knows where you’ll end up!
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